That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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