Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
