he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
