I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Let's paint friendship bongs
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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