Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
