She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
