all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
