i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
