we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
