I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
