she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
