glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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