If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am mentally ready for anal.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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