Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i out mim tonsoeep
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