i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize