Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
