i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
As shirtless as possible
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
