Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
