I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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