So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
