why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
