Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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