hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
