And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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