The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
