I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
