turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
