Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants