Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
