the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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