waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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