she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
