We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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