@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
