I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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