So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
