i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am available for nakedness
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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