You're my little dorito
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
