alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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