So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
