Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
