when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
