I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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