you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize
