i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
