He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
