Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
