she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
