i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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