I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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