How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
