Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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