the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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