I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
