I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
