My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
