He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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