Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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